ADAM ARMOUR: Why I’ll never be a plumber and probably not a YouTuber either | Lifestyle

It was around the time the water started gushing out of the wall — spewing out in a steady stream as if I’d accidentally cut through one of my bathroom’s arteries — that I realized I might not know exactly what I was getting into. for god’s sake was doing.

I was in the bath, thank goodness. Getting soaked is normal there, even if I was fully clothed. I dropped the screwdriver and several pipes I had in my hands, barely paying attention to where they spread as they hit the bottom of the tub. I fought frantically to hold back the flow with my hands, as if such a thing were really possible, but only managed to divert the flow in multiple directions.

As I scrambled out of the tub, skidding across the slippery tile in panic, searching my house for that stupid metal rod thing it takes to shut off the water at the meter, I thought about how the guy on YouTube made the project look so easy .

“Adjusting the amount of hot water that comes to your bath faucet is an easy DIY project. Twist the center of the handle a few times to remove it,” he said, effortlessly lifting the center part of the handle. brushed nickel doohickey that cuts off the water a few times with one hand, while taking his camera shots with the other.” Then you just take this little piece of plastic out, twist it a little and then let it all back on. fall into place. Easy.”

Not once during his step-by-step how-to video did this plumber/videographer mention geysers of water bursting from the walls, and as I dug the key into the padlock of our carport utility room—the place I was almost certain I would throw that before said metal bar when I thought I would never really need it – I remembered how the handyman/budding Kubrick’s clothes remained immaculate and not soaking wet at all. Not from the opening greeting to the invitation to crush that “Like” button.

As I clawed furiously on my hands and knees at the tree roots that twisted around the underground water meter, now hindering my attempt to keep my house from being flooded, I thought how I should have known not to have any home repair projects of my own. to attempt. After all, few people in this world know better than me how inept I am when it comes to fixing something more complicated than a clogged toilet. And I’m not very good at that either.

The fact is, there’s only one household project that I seem naturally ready for, and that’s hanging a painting straight in one go. I’m not sure why our maker decided to bless me with this largely useless gift, but it’s really the only household chore I’m even remotely qualified to do. Give me a nail, a hammer, some wall space and your best framed photo of your beloved Meemaw, and I’ll make sure she’s perfectly level without making more than the necessary one or two holes in your precious shiplap . It’s a gift… I guess.

So as I stood – soaked and defeated – in my bathtub, watching that unexpected fountain of water slowly pour down into a trickle, I couldn’t help but wonder if there was an audience for someone like me. Just a horrible amateur plumber in filthy wet clothes who’s horribly bad at adjusting the water temperature in his bathtub, but pretty decent at a specific part of interior decorating that’s begging the world to break that “Like” button.

ADAM ARMOR is the news editor for the Daily Journal and former general manager of The Itawamba County Times. You can reach him through his Twitter handle, @admarmr.

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